There were endless amount of tears running down my face, I felt very hot and a mix of negative emotions rising within me. I wanted to kick, punch, and destroy something out of fury on one side but on the other I wanted to just cry and scream at somebody letting my feelings out. I had never cried this much since my mother passed away. I was very saddened by this injustice, everyone around me could tell because I’m not one to cry- but I couldn't believe or understand what had happened, I just couldn't.
I was so sure that we were gonna win and there was never a doubt. We walked back home, Scout looked really tired and, Dill was somewhat upset like me. As we came close I started running and headed straight for my room and jumped on my bed not wanting anyone to talk to me. Unintentionally, I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up the next day I felt slightly better. I walked into the kitchen and everyone was staring at me. I sat down not saying a word and just played with my food I didn’t have any appetite. Calpurnia became upset and told me to stop playing with the food and eat, I just stayed still and did not respond. Looking down I asked Atticus to be excused he allowed me to be excused under the condition that I had to eat at least half of my plate. I somewhat ate and then headed out not knowing where I was going but I wanted to get fresh air and go on a walk, walking down the street I felt someone following me and as I turned Scout bumped in to me and Dill into her. I told them to stop following me, go back home, and leave me alone but, they said they were concerned about me and wanted to know if I was okay. Realizing that their intentions weren’t bad and that it wasn't right for me to take my anger off on them I stayed silent and just kept walking. We ended up at the park and we were all in silence swinging, when all of a sudden, we heard my name and it was Mrs. Maudie and she was calling me over. We climbed the wooden steps and onto Miss Maudie’s new front porch. When we got inside she had one large cake sitting in the middle of her table she told us to sit down and cut the cake serving us each a piece. I felt conflicted because I wanted to tell her everything, how badly I felt, how injustful it was, and what had happened, but I felt it would make me become mad again just talking about it. I also wasn’t sure if she was even interested at all or wanted to know since she had chosen not to go in the first place. I decided to respect her decision and keep quiet but after a couple minutes of silence she slowly started asking me what had happened. I took a deep breath and started explaining, Mrs. Maudie listened intently as I began to retell the important events. I began with what had happened before the trial and the incident at the jail house, I told her how me, Scout, and Dill followed him one night not knowing where he was headed and found him at the jail house. I also told her how Atticus went and was there just sitting down and then a group of man randomly appeared and they wanted to hurt Tom not caring who they had to go through but then Scout ran up to Atticus and recognized Mr. Cunningham and she calmed the people down making them leave before it could have gotten bad and Scout not knowing left us all in shock. She looked at Scout and Scout looked at her with a showing off look feeling proud for something she didn't even know she had done. Mrs. Maudie was in shocked and couldn’t believe how we were still alive thanks to Scout. I then proceeded to telling her about the trial. I got straight to the point before telling her all the details. I explained how Atticus gave endless amount of evidence to prove Tom's innocence and that they were strong ones and he had left it easy to the judge and how he didn't have to take three hours to come up with a horrible conclusion because it was obvious Tom wasn't the guilty one. I then told her the details how, Mr. Heck Tate was the first witness and he told us in what condition he had found Mayella in. I continued informing her by letting her know who came next which was Bob Ewell and how he testified that he supposedly found Mayella lying on the floor after having been raped and beat by Tom, But that he claimed it was too late when he got there to get revenge on his own or be able to do something so that he had to run and get Mr. Heck Tate. I revealed how Mayella also testified and said the same things as her dad, how it was Tom Robinson who had raped her and she was too weak to fight back even though she hollered and kicked. I ended by telling her we had found out the truth at the end, through Tom Robinson, which was that it was Mayella who had tempted him. I informed her how Atticus exposed Bob Ewell as a man who beat and sexually abused his daughter. I let her know why Atticus had come to these conclusions, which were that Tom Robinson was right handed because he had hurt his arm and it was twelve inches shorter than his left and Atticus was smart and made us realized that only a left handed person could have hurt Mayella based on the side she was hurt, and how when Mayella tempted Tom she had said something disturbing about her father which proved there was sexual abuse. I instantly become mad and Mrs. Maudie could tell and just told me to take deep breaths in and out and eat my cake, that I hadn't even started. I kept going on and on about how it was greatly unfair, and justice was not served. I told her how I was greatly let down because I strongly had believed we would have won. She just stared at me in silence and in shock letting me express my feelings and just let it all out, and after a while she finally spoke. She told me my father was a great, brave man, who has a lot of courage to take this job and stand up for what he believes is right no matter what people say about him. She tried explaining how this world isn't fair and especially at this time how it's really hard for African Americans to be claimed innocent for something they actually have not done, but she said she understood my fury because she was also frustrated because it seemed that nowadays only children cry and get touched by this and that adults seem to not care anymore since they have sadly gotten used to it and instead of someone like my father or a group of people standing up for what is right they just stay quiet now letting all these horrible tragic events happen before their eyes. She admitted how she was one of those quiet people, but she feels like a nobody and didn't believe she could do anything by herself, she told me she feels she doesn’t have the courage to either but that she did feel badly for what was going on. She told me she admired me for being smart for my age and understanding what had happened. I looked at her with tears in my eyes and told her this didn't have to be this way and that I wanted to be that person who finally stood up and I had a plan. By: Melany Carreto Gonzalez -- contributing writer I really didn’t think that things could have gotten any worse. My head was a whirlwind of thoughts as I relived the events of the trial directly outside the courthouse. Guilty. Sentenced to death. The next word broke me from this hazy spell by Dill. Tomorrow. It was the only word I heard. I glanced over at Dill, puzzled as he broke the news again. He was going back home to Meridian. Tomorrow night. I couldn’t believe it, right after the horrid trial Dill would be leaving us to go home. It was the worst possible thing that he could have said to us in that moment. Rage filled me, and I could not stop myself from yelling back at him. I told him that he needed to stay, I told him that it wasn’t even the end of the summer. But he just kept shaking his head, repeating that his mom wanted him to come home early this year. I didn’t even realize that Scout was beside me with tears flowing down her flushed cheeks. She burst into a fit of tears when I asked her if she was okay. I couldn’t take it anymore. Before I knew it, I whipped around and ran home. Lost in my thoughts I ran with wild abandon. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t catch the wild thoughts racing through my mind.
When I barreled through the front door, Aunt Alexandra looked back at me, baffled. She asked me if I was alright as I blew past her and ran upstairs. A few minutes later I heard footsteps shuffling up the old wooden stairs. Creaking open, Scout’s head peeped through the opening in the doorway. Her bloodshot eyes found mine. I urged her to go away, but per usual, she ignored my request. Rolling over and burying my head in my pillow, I shouted for Scout to leave me alone. I needed to be by myself. Alone with my thoughts. Scout dropped her head and whimpered as I heard her comply with my request. I took a deep breath as the door latched shut. Finally peace. This was short-lived, as the door opened for a second time. Can I get any privacy in this house? This time, Aunt Alexandra came into my room and sunk into the foot of my bed. She put a comforting hand on my leg and spoke softly to me. Although her words had a reassuring tone, she spoke the truth. There was no way the jury would have found Tom innocent. It would just never happen in Maycomb. My heart raced and the lump in my throat rose. My voice cracked as I opened my mouth. Anything I could think of erupted out of my mouth. I told her that we were cheated, and that they were wrong. I couldn’t hold back anymore. Without thinking twice, my voice boomed as I stood up and finally broke. I spun and punched the wall as hard as I could. When I pulled my hand away there was a small dent in the wall, paint splitting. Aunt Alexandra seemed to be mixed with emotions as well; confused, upset, and disappointed. She took a deep breath and pulled me down onto the bed next to her, arm around me. We just sat in quiet for a long time until I calmed down. Later on, I began to think. I desperately wanted to make things right. There had to be a way. In my heart, I knew that Tom Robinson didn’t attack Mayella Ewell. The facts simply didn’t add up, and now this innocent man would be put to death. It came to me. The only way I knew how to make things right was to free Tom Robinson myself. The thought of this became all consuming. It would be the perfect retribution to get back at the Ewells for lying, for framing Tom Robinson for a crime he didn’t commit. I felt a grin form across my face and thought to myself as I pictured the looks on the Ewells’ faces on execution day. Tom would be nowhere to be found. It was a quiet dinner, I don’t think anybody said a word. We were all mourning over the devastating loss at the trial. I seriously couldn’t believe that the judge couldn’t see through the fact that Tom was a black man. In my heart I knew that if Tom were white, he wouldn’t be sitting in a jail cell. As I mindlessly shoveled food into my mouth, I couldn’t help but imagine the thoughts that must be going through Tom’s mind. My heart rate quickened with these thoughts, which got me thinking about the escape plan. I felt an urgency to fix the horrible acts and lies that the Ewells told the judge. Scout finally spoke, breaking me from my compulsive thoughts. She asked to be excused, even though she had barely eaten. Aunt Alexandra nodded, and Scout stood and went upstairs. I requested to be excused as well and Aunt Alexandra nodded again. As I stood up, I thanked Calpurnia for dinner, turned and went upstairs. Up in my room I could hear Scout from across the hall crying a quiet whimper. Feeling regretful about my earlier flare of anger, I decided I wanted to comfort her. I knocked quietly and opened the door. Scout was laying face down on her pillows trying to muffle the sound of her crying. I sat down on the bed next to her and she rolled over to look at me. It seemed that Scout was finally realizing that Tom Robinson was going to die an innocent man. It was as if she were in my head. She told me exactly what I had been thinking; that Tom was innocent and that we had been cheated. I made a snap decision. Scout’s face lit up as I unveiled my plan. *************** After everybody had fallen asleep I initiated step one of my plan. I silently pulled the covers off and slipped out of bed. Camouflaging myself, I put on a black shirt and black pants. Slowly, I crept to the top of the stairs, ever so carefully to not make a sound. As I descended down the stairs, I paused as one step creaked under my foot. I froze, listening intently. After hearing no movement I continued. On my way to the door a noise from the living room caught my attention. I turned to see Aunt Alexandra sitting in a chair. Groggily, she questioned why I was awake. Beads of sweat started to form across my forehead, one trickling down to my chin. Taking a deep breath, I heard the lie slip out. I told her I was just getting some water. She nodded, rolled over and fell soundly asleep. I made a break for the door, slipping through and quietly closing it behind me. Taking a moment to catch my breath, I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. I took off for downtown, my destination - the jailhouse. My sprint was stopped short when I heard my name. Miss Maudie surprised me from her new front porch. She must have seen me under the lamplight. She waved me over and I had no choice. Without a word, she patted the chair next to her, inviting me to sit down. She asked me about the trial, the Roman Carnival as she called it, and I filled her in. As I told her what had happened she was nodding, as if she had been there. When I had finished talking, she told me that Tom never had a chance and that it wasn’t Atticus’ fault that Tom was convicted guilty. I told her what I had told everybody else, that we had been cheated and that I had to make things right. She pushed me on my meaning, so I told her my plan. Miss Maudie didn’t take her eyes off me as I shared details. Looking at her, I knew what she was going to say even before she said a word. She told me that breaking Tom out of jail would only come back to haunt me, because if I got caught then I could be executed as well. This made me think, was I willing to put myself in danger to help save Tom? As much as I cared about Tom and his innocence, Miss Maudie brought me back to reality. Putting myself in danger for Tom was probably not a good decision. This plan could put my entire family in harm’s way. I stood up and walked over to Miss Maudie. I wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace and felt her arms do the same. She whispered in my ear telling me that I should proud of the good young man I was. She then told me to go home and go to sleep. I nodded, thanked her for helping me come around, turned and as I walked away I was absorbed into the darkness of the night. By: Justin Rogers -- contributing writer I tried to keep it in, I tried to be a straight face and professional like Atticus, but I couldn’t. My eyes started to water and soon my face was covered in tears. My face was hot with rage, and I stood frozen on the balcony. Scout passed by me, and I gathered myself. I took a deep breath, and wiped my face, but the tears kept flowing. I silently led Scout and Dill through the droves of people, out of the courthouse, and we headed home.
It didn’t make any sense, I was so sure, I knew he was innocent and I was so sure the jury would see that, why couldn’t they see it? I caught myself clenching my fists and jaw, it just didn’t make any sense. Tom Robinson was a good man, he was an honest Negro, it wasn’t fair. The Ewells were worse than any colored folk in Maycomb. It was that scum Bob Ewell, he’s the one who hurt Ms. Mayella. He’s the one who beat her, and the one who did disgusting things to her, he’s the one who‘s left-handed. Him, Bob Ewell not Tom Robinson. It didn’t make any sense. Scout kept poking me and asking questions, she didn’t understand. She didn’t get the trial and she didn’t get why I was so upset, Dill didn’t either. They were too young, they didn’t understand the terrible state of this world, the horrible injustices experienced every single day. Negros out of work, children starving, houses burning, all these terrible things happening to good people, every single day. Why? It’s so stupid, the Robinsons were good people, so why was this happening to them? It didn't make any sense. I paused, my foot was throbbing, Scout and Dill were staring at me confused. I looked down and realized just how angry I was. I nearly broke my shoe, I kicked a tree with all my might, the big oak tree at the Radley’s house. I froze, I stood there in disbelief, I couldn’t believe how angry I was. I looked up at the cement filled hole and thought about how simple life used to be, how easy it all was. I gathered myself again and ignored the searing pain in my foot. I shooed the kids along, and we hurried home. When we arrived home, I was silent. It was too late for me to talk to them, and it was too late for Dill to go home, so he was going to stay over. We went upstairs, I set up pillows on the floor for Dill. I laid there trying to sleep, but I couldn’t. Dill was babbling on but I didn’t hear a word he said, I didn’t hear anything until Scout came in. The door creaked as she poked her head in to see if we were awake. I sat up in my bed and smiled at her to come in. She had annoyed me all day with questions about the trial, but somehow seeing her comforted me. Something about her innocence and how blissfully unaware of the terrible truths of the world was sweet. They came and sat on my bed and we started to talk. Dill was upset about the trial too, but not the same way. They were too young, still full of imagination and hope. They didn’t grasp the full scope of what happened in that courtroom, and in a way I was glad. What happened in there was a terrible injustice and proved to be a disgusting recounting of events. It was good that Scout didn’t get everything that happened, she was still so young, and Aunt Alexandra wanted her to be a lady so bad. It was good Dill didn’t understand either, he didn’t like how Mister Gilmer was treating Tom Robinson but he didn’t get why. They didn’t understand the delicacies of race, and how Negroes were different from us, and I was starting to question it too. All my life we’ve been separated, told that Negroes were less than us. But why? It didn’t make any sense, we were all the same after all. Why couldn’t they see that Tom Robinson was better than the Ewells despite the fact that he’s colored. It didn’t make any sense. By: Rachel DiDonato -- contributing writer |
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